She was undoubtedly the most beautiful wife in Polish poetry. She completely changed the life of the poet Julian Tuwim when he met her exactly one hundred years ago on the street in Łódź: "My life was called Stefa." Witkacy portrayed her twice. In exile during World War II, she also revealed her strong character...
| Stanisław Ignacy Witkiewicz, Portrait of Stefania Tuwimowa II (1929) Museum of Central Pomerania in Słupsk
She was born on February 23, 1894, in Tomaszów Mazowiecki, into an assimilated Jewish family, the daughter of businessman Jakub Marchew and singer Gustawa Gitla Dońska. She was ashamed of her family name, Marchew, which Tuwim later Frenchified as Marszew. In 1912, she met her future husband – the scene was straight out of a romantic movie. A phenomenally beautiful young lady, she was riding in a horse-drawn carriage on Piotrkowska Street in Łódź. She was a good match, he a poor student. For many years, they exchanged letters. They married only seven years later, in the Łódź synagogue, on April 30, 1919. Her cousin Ewa Drozdowska recalled: " I remember their wedding day in Łódź. She was a charming phenomenon, a fairy-tale princess, he was beside himself with joy..."
Years later, the poet wrote to his wife: "But think, my golden-haired daughter, what it was like seven years ago when you decided to marry me. I was nothing. Rather, something negative, uncertain, disturbing. Without money, without a "name," with a whole host of defects. And now, to such a "boy from Łódź," you gave your wonderful, sweet, blossoming life!" Tuwim, in love, wrote beautiful love poems. As early as 1912, he signed his first published poem, "Request," with his beloved's initials, "St.M." She lived in Tomaszów Mazowiecki, which facilitated their contact during the holidays:
Or maybe we, the only one,
Did they drop by Tomaszów for the day?
Maybe there is still a golden dusk there
The same silence continues in September.
In 1921, he published a volume of poetry, "Siódma Jesień," chronicling his seven-year courtship of his beloved Stefania. He held his second wedding in Warsaw, among a group of literary friends, with the special presence of his literary mentor, the poet Leopold Staff, in a seedy pub called Mordownia. Writer Jarosław Iwaszkiewicz recalled: " Tuwim didn't hesitate to introduce his wife there, who, in the full bloom of her extraordinary beauty, looked truly like a bride ." From 1919, she regularly attended meetings at the Ziemiańska café in Warsaw, known to her friends as "Stefcia." She also graced the pages of "Adria" and "Oaza," as "Juleczka's ornament."
She was widely considered a great beauty. This is certainly evidenced by a photograph of her from her early youth, found by Jarosław Iwaszkiewicz in Stawisko in the 70s. Women in the literary community definitely disliked her, judging her a beautiful but empty doll. Magdalena Samozwaniec recalled: Tuwim is in love with Stefa. She is indeed very pretty, with large, slightly doll-like, greenish eyes. Elegant, shapely. But too distinguished, drawn, and laced. Tuwim is like a flame next to gently flowing water. One had the impression that his constant adoration bored and tired her somewhat. Perhaps it was precisely her coldness and deep conviction that she was rightfully entitled to it that enabled her to maintain his love until the end…
Irena Krzywicka was more critical: " For him, Tuwim, there was only one – Stefcia, cold, taciturn, very preoccupied with her beauty and saying with peculiar pride: 'I don't read Julek's poems.'" Later, this changed, especially after his death . She also wrote more bluntly about the alleged infidelity of Tuwim's beautiful wife: "Wieniawa, a friend of poets and their wives, especially, what was a public secret, Stefcia Tuwimowa ." Izabela Czajka-Stachowicz was less jealous: " She was so beautiful then that all the Aphrodites, Venuses, and other paragons of beauty weren't worth tying their shoelaces around her…"
After their wedding, the Tuwims moved into Warsaw with the poet's uncle, doctor Stanisław Krukowski. A few months later, they rented a four-room apartment at 6 Chłodna Street. They lived there for 10 years. Afterward, they moved to Mazowiecka Street. They had no biological children, the poet bluntly explained: " Babiacka died in childbirth, so Stefa won't give birth ." This Babiacka was their neighbor. Years later, in 1946, they adopted a Jewish orphan, Ewa.
Tuwim spared no effort to provide his beloved wife with a very comfortable life. Marian Hemar recalled: " He took whatever he could, but it was never enough ." The basis of their income came not from Tuwim's poetry, but from his cabaret and satirical texts, written for numerous revue theaters. Tuwim wrote absolutely everything: lyrical songs, skits, sketches, and monologues.
But their relationship wasn't one-sided. Stefania cared for the neurotic poet, who had been suffering from severe anxiety since 1931. " My neurosis is undoubtedly erotic in nature ," Tuwim wrote to his sister. It was rumored that it was caused by Stefania's infidelity. But he, in turn, was accused of having an affair with actress Lena Żelichowska...
Joanna Siedlecka wrote that Stefania's calm, sobriety, and composure were essential to the neurasthenic poet. They complemented each other perfectly; their striking contrast was the foundation of their relationship . She endured her husband's main hobby without complaint: collecting strange books. He assembled a "diabolica," a library about devils, demons, witchcraft, and astrology, numbering over a thousand volumes in various languages. He also had a gigantic collection of books about rats, "as a universal symbol of evil since the Middle Ages." He was renowned for this passion among antiquarians across Europe, who collected for him the most bizarre specimens, anything that excited the imagination, intensified fear, or opened up perspectives on the inscrutable labyrinth of the imagination . The collection of "strange books" was enormous and constantly growing, much to his wife's despair. Tuwim's apartment truly looked like a cave after each visit from a different bibliophile . He didn't just collect pornography, he considered it too banal : any butcher could collect that...
| Stefania Tuwimowa, photo by Benedykt Dorys (1930) National Library, source: Polona
The outbreak of World War II found the Tuwims in Świder, and they quickly fled to Romania. Later, Tuwim and his wife settled in Paris, at 4 Rue Louis Codet, near the Eiffel Tower. They lived with Wiera Klaczkin – an emigrant of Russian-Jewish descent, a refugee from revolutionary Russia; interestingly, the sister-in-law of General Wieniawa-Długoszowski. Years later, she recalled: " When I returned home, exhausted from work, I could already smell the wonderful aromas coming from the kitchen in the hallway; his wife loved to cook. Tuwim would invite me to share a meal. She remained silent. I got the impression she wasn't friendly…"
Julian Tuwim suffered from poor health throughout his life. During World War II, he volunteered for the army, first in Paris in 1939, and then in New York in 1941. However, when he was examined, it proved completely impossible.
Tuwim was ill for 30 years , wrote his biographer, Mariusz Urbanek. He was plagued not only by anxiety-related illnesses, such as a rapidly progressing agoraphobia that sometimes kept him confined to his home for months at a time. He also suffered from ulcers. He underwent a very aggressive operation, and although doctors forbade him from drinking alcohol, he never denied himself…
The Tuwims then made their way to New York via Brazil in 1941. The poet's quiet and practical wife ran the household, earned her living by weaving baskets, and translating film subtitles. Tuwim couldn't stop praising his wife in his letters: " My Stefcia is a miracle and a phenomenon. Hardworking, energetic, resourceful, versatile (upholsterer, seamstress, cook, maid, carpenter, house painter, gardener, and now translator). Despite all this, she is always impeccably dressed, yet looks more like her mid-teens ." He dedicated his famous poem "Polish Flowers" to his beloved wife...
Z. Czermański recalled: "Mother Tuwim took over the household. We owed this harmony primarily to her disposition, a person of rare poise and a great sense of humor. Unchanged since her Warsaw days, dressed from early morning as if she were about to receive guests, she spoke and moved around the house at an equally leisurely pace. Eager to talk, but loathe discussion, she could often restore peace at the table with a single humorous word. She was considered a beauty. I personally admired her calm, eloquence, and wit. Lechoń, delighted by the sharpness of her terse sayings, exclaimed that Stefcia was a viper. I wouldn't say the same about her. She rarely said unpleasant things to people's faces. She neither engaged in intrigue nor gossiped…"
The Tuwims' shared apartment with the homosexual poet Jan Lechoń sometimes led to amusing scuffles. During the handsome boy's visits, the poet would draw the curtain separating his living space from the Tuwims'. Stefania would immediately uncover it for social reasons. The scuffles sometimes lasted several minutes and effectively ruined Lechoń's date…
Tuwim and his wife returned to Poland in 1946, a fate Jan Lechoń and the Polish emigration could not forgive. The all-powerful Jerzy Borejsza rewarded him with a prestigious apartment on Nowy Świat Street and a villa in Anin, in need of renovation. Joanna Siedlecka wrote: " He was also showered with decorations, received the State Award, and an honorary doctorate ." But he suffered from a creative block; he tended to translate literary works from other languages, although he did write a few pieces of propaganda. "He was great and stupid ," Kazimierz Wierzyński wrote of Tuwim. Marian Hemar, in a satirical rhyme, bitterly stated: " Unfortunately, the master of the pen has changed. Because he once had a mouse on his face. Today he has a rat ." Marian Hemar also did not spare the poet bitter words: " Tuwim's genius was immeasurably greater than his character..."
After returning to Poland, Tuwim produced no further literary masterpieces. Between 1946 and 1953, he wrote only a dozen or so poems. Maria Dąbrowska, observing the poet's behavior at the communist party's unification congress, expressed surprise: " He looked like an old usurer, shouting and clapping, standing up, and, on top of that, constantly pumping his fist left and right. He was already 54 years old by then, and he wasn't naive…"
In December 1953, Tuwim went on his first vacation after World War II to Zakopane. He stayed with his wife and adopted daughter at the Halama guesthouse. Janusz Makarczyk recalled: " I remember how Mrs. Stefa made sure Tuwim spent at least a little time outdoors . It wasn't easy, because he had suffered from agoraphobia since his youth; I only appreciate the views from the pub window ."
On December 27th, the poet died unexpectedly of a heart attack. Tuwim's funeral was a political demonstration, with a speech by Józef Cyrankiewicz. Lechoń wrote: crowds in the street, the biggest Bolshevik fishes at the coffin, and Stefcia, mourning, for whom I not only feel sorry, but for whom I think with foolish fury…
Stefania continued living in the villa in Anin for ten years, then lost it to Piotr Jaroszewicz himself. She raised a Jewish orphan, who was taken into the poet's family at the age of five. Ewa Tuwim grew into a beautiful woman and was the youthful love of future film director Andrzej Żuławski. She appeared on magazine covers. She studied architecture and married a fellow student. Ewa Tuwim recalled: " My mother was left with an apartment on Nowy Świat Street. She exchanged it for two tiny apartments in a tenement building on Aleja Wyzwolenia. She lived in one, and in the other, identical but one floor below, my husband and I lived there. I lived there until 1966, when we emigrated to Sweden . "
Stefania was not publicly active, nor did she promote Tuwim's legacy, unlike another widow, Janina Broniewska. She was not interested in the role of national widow, but on the other hand, she could not play it, as the authorities had no reason to remind anyone of the existence of a poet who had failed to meet their expectations . However, she actively helped publish his collected works, and donated her husband's entire archive to the Museum of Literature. Tadeusz Januszewski recalled: " To the end, she retained not only her beauty, magnificent figure, and modest elegance, but above all, her great talent, culture, and discreet humor—in short, her class. Health and poor well-being were not issues for her. She suffered from hearing problems, and she avoided social outings . She donated the money for her husband's continually published volumes of poetry to the SOS Jacek Kuroń Foundation . "
Stefania died at the age of 94, after 38 years of widowhood, on March 12, 1991. She was buried in her husband's grave at Powązki Cemetery. In 2016, her pastel portrait, painted by Witkacy in 1929, was sold at auction for 120.000 złoty…
Agata Olenderek
The text was first published in "Słowo Żydowskie", the monthly magazine of TSKŻ.
| Stanisław Ignacy Witkiewicz, "Portrait of Stefania Tuwim" (1929)
For centuries, Polish Jewish women lived on the border between two worlds, yet were not fully-fledged citizens in either. Jewish traditions bound them by a series of sometimes rigorous regulations regulating all, even the most intimate, spheres of life, while simultaneously limiting access to education. The Polish community viewed them ambivalently, as evidenced by the story of King Casimir and Esterka – they were often orientalized and sexualized through the prism of their cultural distinctiveness. Yet, they served as liaisons between the Polish and Jewish worlds. They established contacts with Polish neighbors more often than men – primarily through trade or other economic activities – and demonstrated a better command of the Polish language, even during the Holocaust. They participated in various areas of social life – education, science, and the arts, contributing a significant component to Polish cultural heritage.
Twice forgotten and censored – as women and Jews, as a doubly alien element, as the ultimate Other in the imaginarium of male-dominated Polish culture.
The Warsaw Ghetto Museum wants to help remember them – to bring back from oblivion figures and stories of significant Polish Jewish women and their cultural influences. We present a new series of columns devoted to Polish Jewish women – women of art, cinema, and literature; writers, translators, actresses, and all those who co-created Polish culture.
